I'm the opposite of well read. In high school and college computer and video games were my heroin, turn based/real time strategy and Madden specifically. Post college I traded gaming in for the methadone of Netflix. The returns, no matter how great, of a film obsession have become diminishing while the number of unread books that I'm curious about has mushroomed. Within the past year I've bailed on Atlas Shrugged and On the Road, and somehow slogged to the end of Lolita.
In search of a nitro and unwilling to forever resign myself to the life of a literary dullard I've decided to take authors of note out for drinks as opposed to dinner or, in the case of Rand, a weekend getaway. I'll pick the low hanging fruit; read their plays, novellas, and novels that barely clear the fence. The arbitrary ceiling for a shortie is 80,000 words. Embarking in late January, I anticipated rattling off the reviews ten at a time, no plus one, then the Big Ten Conference circa 07/01/11, now lucky thirteen, so here goes some covers and ratings of personal enjoyment.
Bright Lights Big City 8/10
This was the only book out of the twelve that I really relished consuming. It shadows a fact checker at the New Yorker for about week while he throws back "marching power" and goes out and about in NYC. At one point "you", the protagonist, uses "We don't get many Rationalists in here" on a Spinoza reading female bar patron. That bit, and truer lines where he talks himself down from calling the girl just to relate what he had for breakfast, references to William Hazlitt and "bourbon and bon mots" kept me paging despite Jay wrapping up on a mournful note.
The Overcoat 7/10
Between the main character in a dumb Bollywood movie we watched being named after the author, Nabokov saying that in the writing of this Gogol was "the greatest artist that Russia has yet produced" and the story's insane brevity there was no way I couldn't ensure it got crossed off. Even to a troglodyte, the prose seemed to have a certain charm despite the translation and its straightforwardness, which for me, stops right before the end. Wikipedia calmed my confusion, but I could use a personally directed explanation.
Washington Square 7/10
In one of Leonard Michaels's essays he talks about his English professor's admiration of this book and James's prowess. So I I jumped in and while nothing really happens Henry does know how to turn a charming phrase. The last page just kind of dropped me, so I dropped it a point.
The Importance of Being Earnest 7/10
After telling my sister I hadn't read this, and getting rebuked with "Really? It's short. It's a play.", and Zach Galifianakis airing his disbelief that "they made another Earnest movie" Oscar got bumped to the top of the queue, and proceeded to clean my clock with wit normally reserved for only the sharpest 30 Rock episodes.
Big Blonde 5/10
Dorthy Parker has some great quotes and a compelling biography, but after audio booking a bunch of her short stories and actually reading her "masterpiece" I respect her ability, but can't get around the depressing, Peggy in the first season of Mad Men, tone/setting that dominates her work.
Shoplifting From American Apparel 5/10
I used to frequent the blog Tao is accused of writing and happen by his twitter feed, but never considered actually reading this until he was interviewed on KRCW's Bookworm. The entire book is about a dude putzing around NYC and Florida, gmail chatting, drinking Kombucha, and my personal favorite throwing his frind's Odwalla bottle in the park. If that sounds really weak it's because he's supposedly trying out some new style of writing and you're totally right. I won't soon seek out his other work, but love that his blog links to reviewers that trash the book.
Waiting for Godot 4/10
Whatever I was expecting I didn't get it. I knew the setting was sparse, but thought it would be heavy on insight. The dialogue when Beckett's duo debate hanging themselves was interesting and his seemingly made a good point about "the good thief" passage, one of my favorites, not being noted by any of the other evangelists (John's omission what with his proximity seems most annoying) was intriguing, but that was it. I would love for someone to upend Vladimir's aforementioned quibble, and make the explanation googlable. At some point I'll go deeper than the play's wikipedia page and the introduction, but for now it was a disappointment.
Seize the Day 3/10
So I heard Saul was a big deal, and while this tale of a down on his luck salesman with father issues isn't grating like some of the following I really missed the getting anything out of it boat. Still I can't help thinking McInerney cribbed by ending his story the same way.
The Stranger 3/10
This was kinda cute in parts, but even if I hadn't expected anything remotely memorable from this "titan of pomo thought", and I'm sure somebody has referred to him as that, I think I would have still been non-plussed as all get out.
Candide 3/10
Just like what? I was all ready the be super bros with Voltaire and this just left me cold. I guess it was humorous and cogent at the time but I thought it almost inane.
Howl 3/10
I did it. I read a book of poetry, put nothing into it and got nothing in return. "Angel-headed hipster" is a great turn, but that's on the first page so I'd rather watch the upcoming movie about the legal brouhaha than try an figure out what I missed. After some of On the Road, more than half of Naked Lunch and this, I think it's safe to say that I hate beat lit.
Less Than Zero 2/10
Despite my love of the American Psycho movie, I am at a complete loss for why my friend or anyone else would hype/push Ellis's career maker. I hated the first half because it bleached my soul clear and I super hated the second half because of the grotesque interludes that I can only assume get ramped up 1000% when Patrick Bateman takes over. Great, it makes you feel like crud/empty in a totally unique way by the end, but that's it. I should have passed.
Siddhartha 2/10
Wow, did this ever quickly and continually send me to a good nights sleep. I guess folks who like this book do so because it espousing the concept of shedding your past and morphing into a new self. That's all I could glean. The story is uninteresting and the style is about subtle as a Coors spot, even minor profundity is absent. Seriously the number of sentences that were arranged Siddhartha + was + really positive adjective, batter one ceaselessly.
Strong Buy: Amazon's Text Stats
This tucked away feature is invaluable. The ability to more easily and accurately quantify a book's running time has changed my life. Google the title,"text stats", and the first link that comes up should take you book's word count, which is as useful as page count is worthless, as well as other intriguing metrics, War and Peace's are below.
